My final semester as a sophomore just ended recently, to be more exact five days ago. Well it would be a cliché to say that it was one heck of a rollercoaster ride but… it is so let us just put it there and say that A LOT HAPPENED IN A YEAR (even though that is an understatement as well).
Ok let me give you a bird’s eye view of what I’m doing with my life. I am taking BS Accountancy in the University of Sto. Tomas AMV – College of Accountancy. This year was my first encounter with a six unit class – a major subject. It was quite shocking because of its weight and well its relevance to the program. It is the policy of the college to give a retention exam to the sophomores who passed both Acctg 1A&B and 2A&B. If fortunate and good enough one may also be exempted, given that one maintains a grade of 2.0 or higher.
The first semester was alright, I got by and managed the 2.0 cutoff but the second semester came and the exemption policy was not in my favor. Therefore I took the retention exam last June 2, 2015. The real last day for everyone was May 20 but mine was extended for another week, because of the retention exam. Before the list was posted I already had a gut feel of my fate. I don’t know, I have been struggling for awhile. Especially when I had a failing prelim grade. You see the weight of things matter. The average of my quizzes were just fine, but then the prelim exam… slapped my face with its weight because I flunked it.
I’m never used to having failing marks and low scores but I guess I had to face this one. I was actually beginning to get hard on myself, I began doubting. Am I not meant to continue this program? Was I not doing enough, but I’ve been studying a week ahead the exams? I even began bargaining with God. Every time the exams came it felt like crawling, every single number took minutes to be answered. I was used to spending just a few seconds on each exam item… This. Was. Different. I might not be meant for this… AND THAT CANNOT BE!
Out of 45 students in my block, 12 got exempted and the rest fortunately (because no one failed) was given the chance to take the retention exam including myself.
How would I describe the retention exam? It was 3hr exam which was nothing like the exams that I took before. It had two parts and we were provided with two scantron cards. Theories part – 30 items with 30 points and Problems – 35 items but worth 70 points totalling a 100 points. The theories part was manageable but the Problems part was too long. Each problem was quite “comprehensive” you really should have mastered the basics.
As for my case I decided to skip problems I couldn’t answer right away and ended at the last page skipping everything. And so I read through it once again. An hour and a half passed already and I still don’t have answers. Gosh, I was struggling once more it was not just a two-step problem. More like a 5-step Problem consuming 10-15 mins of my time in EACH ITEM (did I mention there were 35?).
When there were only a few minutes left, perhaps 5-10 minutes, I got tense. I only had 5-7 sure answers, I was starting to raise the white flag and the thought of copying my seatmate’s paper was there already. I was preparing myself to cheat but when I looked around. No one’s shading anything, others were just staring at their papers. Others are not even touching their calculators anymore. Were they through, or did they gave up as well? Then it hit me, they already surrendered.
I got back to my senses and decided to solve just one more. Somehow I managed to pop an answer from the choices, hoping that it was the correct one I shaded eagerly. Though still confused, shocked, and on the brink of breaking down I submitted my paper. The weird thing was when the proctor dismissed us a group of students were laughing, which made me feel more miserable.
And so, when I got out and saw my other blockmates, I was the only one who looked like somebody out of the asylum. The doors of BSA were closing right in front of me waving goodbye.
We began with 22 sections under the BSA program in my freshman year. Then the following year around 19 sections by the second semester around 17? And well now, after the retention exam only 10 sections were left. And… gladly and fortunately I am still part of it!
The struggle is my new reality and I am hoping that as hard as everything gets I’ll be able to get through it with God’s grace. To those of you who might be in the same position. Here is another cliché – NEVER GIVE UP! Because… others do in the process and lose everything they have worked for.